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Playbooks / Trust · 3 min read

The 1:1 playbook

A 1:1 is the only meeting that belongs to the other person.

The problem

“My 1:1s have turned into status meetings”

In the model

People · Trust

In 30 seconds

  • Move status out of the 1:1. It belongs on the board.
  • Let them go first, then pick one question, not twelve.
  • Leave with one thing you will do, and do it before next time.
NOW How they're really doing "What's taking up more of your head than it should?" NEXT MONTH Problems, early "If you had to bet on what goes wrong next, what would it be?" NEXT YEAR Growth "What skill do you want to be known for in a year?" YOU Feedback on you "What could I do differently to make your job easier?"
Four kinds of question. Pick the one that fits what you need to learn this month.

The situation

You ask "How's it going?" They say "Fine, busy." You both read the board aloud for thirty minutes.

What's really going on

"How's it going?" is too big to answer honestly. People only open up when the question is specific and they trust you'll act on the answer.

What to do

  1. Move status elsewhere. A written update or the board. The 1:1 is for the person.
  2. Let them go first. "What's on your mind?" Then wait.
  3. Ask one specific question. Choose from the twelve below.
  4. Commit to one action. Write it down. Do it before the next 1:1.

The twelve questions

How they're really doing

  • What's taking up more of your head than it should?
  • What would have made this week one point better?
  • Is anything you're working on pointless?

Problems, early

  • If you had to bet on what goes wrong next month, what would it be?
  • Who on the team is struggling and might not say so?
  • What slows you down for no good reason?

Growth

  • What do you want more of next quarter? Less of?
  • What skill do you want to be known for in a year?
  • What did you do recently that you were proud of? Did anyone notice?

Feedback on you

  • What could I do differently to make your job easier?
  • Which of my recent decisions did you disagree with?
  • What do I do that you'd copy?

How you'll know it's working

  • Consistency: at least nine in ten scheduled 1:1s actually happen.
  • Signal: once a month, someone raises something you didn't already know.
  • Care check: they set the agenda more often than you do.

In the frameworks

  • SAFe: Respect for people is a SAFe core value. The 1:1 is where it's practised, or not.
  • Scrum: Openness and courage are Scrum values. Neither survives a 1:1 that's really a status update.
  • Lean: Genchi genbutsu, go and see: the 1:1 is how a manager goes and sees what's really happening.

In other industries

  • Healthcare A practice manager's check-in with reception turns into rota admin. Move the rota to a shared sheet and ask what slows them down.
  • Accountancy Trainee 1:1s become a review of chargeable hours. Put the timesheet aside and ask what they'd bet goes wrong in busy season.
  • Manufacturing Shift leads rarely get a 1:1 at all. Ten minutes at shift change and one good question still count.
  • Small business In a team of five, nobody tells the owner the truth by default. "What could I do differently?" matters most.

What to say

"I've let our 1:1s turn into status updates. That's on me. From now on this time is about you: what's in your way, what you want to grow into, what I'm getting wrong. Status can go in Slack."

Try this week

In your next 1:1, ask "What could I do differently to make your job easier?" and stay silent for ten seconds.

Think about it

When did someone last tell you something in a 1:1 that surprised you?

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