Runs on PeoplePlaybooks / Trust · 2 min read
Getting the steer you need
Don't wait for your manager to give you direction. Ask for it, in a way that makes it easy for them to answer honestly.
In 30 seconds
- Your career is yours. A good manager guides it and pushes it, but nobody does it for you. Asking for the steer is your job.
- Most managers don't hold back feedback on purpose. They're busy, unsure how you'll take it, or new at the job themselves.
- Make it easy: ask specific questions, ask regularly, and react well to the answer.
- The steer you get is only as good as the question you ask.
The situation
The annual review comes round and you hear things for the first time: feedback that would have been useful six months ago. In between, your 1:1s are status updates and "you're doing great".
What's really going on
Honest feedback feels risky to give. Your manager doesn't know whether you want it, how you'll react, or whether it's worth the awkwardness. "How am I doing?" is too vague to answer honestly, so you get "fine".
You can't control how good your manager is. You can control how easy you make it for them to tell you the truth.
The three questions
Ask these once a month, in a 1:1, one at a time:
- "What should I do more of?" Starts positive and tells you what's actually valued.
- "What's one thing holding me back?" One thing is easier to say than a list.
- "What would you need to see to back me for the next step?" Turns vague ambition into something concrete.
What to do
- Warn them first. "Next 1:1 I'd like ten minutes on how I'm doing. Could you think about it?" Nobody gives good feedback on the spot.
- Ask one question at a time, and wait through the silence.
- Thank them, whatever they say. If you argue the first time, you won't get a second.
- Act on one thing, visibly. Then tell them: "You said X, so I tried Y." That makes them want to do it again.
- Write it down. Your own record of what you were told is worth more than any appraisal form.
How you'll know it's working
- Specifics: the feedback names real pieces of work, not "keep it up".
- No surprises: nothing in your review is new to you.
- Momentum: you can say what you're working on to get to the next step.
- Care check: you'd feel able to say "that one stung" and keep talking.
What to say
To open the conversation:
"I'd really value an honest view on how I'm doing. Not the polite version. What's one thing I could do better that would make the biggest difference?"
Try this week
Book ten minutes in your next 1:1 and send the three questions in advance.
Think about it
When did someone last tell you something about your work that you didn't want to hear, and how did you react?